Dark Self

I feel true hate as u steal my words and shove yours down my throat. I choke on the bile your self-righteous words force up. I can’t breathe. I burn as your lies fall from my lips. Black as Satan’s sins is the stain over me. The blackness crawls over my skin and seeps deep into me. Pain blooms in my chest and my heart is expelled from my body. I feel the pulse slow to a stop and see the pleasure on your face as the fight drains from me. My humanity is torn from me with my heart. You spur me on and drive my dark self forward. I have nothing left. I have no reason to fight. I understand that you are wrong, but I no longer feel the kindling of hope in my heartless body. I see nothing. I am blind to you and your false pain.

Little Lost Princess

There once was a beautiful princess born in a marvelous castle. She was loved very much. One day she escaped the castle into the dark dense forest surrounding it. She ran and ran. She was happy with her freedom, but soon she realized she was lost, and she could not return to her castle. For inside her castle was the world.

Her Servant.

Her voice. Her voice.  Her voice. It won’t leave my mind. It flies around like a black butterfly trapped in a jar. She dances the dance of a worriless creature. Plays with fire in the corners of my mind toying around with my sanity and sense of normalcy. Making my soul flame higher and more dangerously with every sing song word she speaks. Making my senses sharp and dull at the same time. She fills me. Making the world bright and wonderful when she is near. Making it morbid and dark as she draws away. I can’t concentrate on anything but her. Her hand in mine. Her whisper in my ear. The love beaming in her eyes. I feel at peace as her blade in driven into my loving heart and her poison lips touch mine. The black wings crack and shatter into a million glittering diamonds. I close my eyes with a smile on my face. Her will be done for I am a servant to a kind word in a gentle voice. . .

My Wishing Star

I see her home in the stars. Universes away. Everything in the sky between us. But her smiles are still only for me. She would play on the moon as I watch. And I will wait for her hand to reach for mine again. I wait for a time when we will travel through space once more on shooting stars as we dance the night away. Planets zoom by and my cares are thrown in the wind. My tears dry and my spirit is free. A true freedom I had never before known. I have no worries, no fear, no pain. All the horrors of the real world are left on the ground. Endlessness engulfs us; silence and serenity are our only companions. We swim in the sea of stars and I know I am no longer forsaken. Soon though comes the sun and her beauty is burnt away. I awake in my bed alone. Every morning I wonder if she is a dream and every night I know she is mine. She will forever wonder the skies as I am grounded. I miss her every day. I know I can’t stay in her sky and the pain of my earth is too much. . .

My China Doll

My body is broken, bloody, and torn. The elderly doll makers hands shake unsteadily, his soul burdened with dark tasks he has to fulfill. His usual calm indifference has fled with the dieing wind. The coldness in his eyes and heart left those who once cared for him in a frozen wasteland of resentment and broken promises. His warmth once was only for me. He put his heart into my keeping. But my body was his plaything, his favorite pastime, he plucked my strings, and made my spirit dance. Then one day long ago, when he was young, he came to me and there was anger in his eyes but I did not understand for it had never been there before. He cut my ties to him and through me away. Finality in his gaze as he left everything behind. So I ran. I ran the other direction until the beauty of my surroundings took my breath away. I had never been outside his home. I learned what ugliness truly looked like. But I also saw things so amazing that wont be seen by many others. I am overjoyed to have seen such things but before everything was splintered into pieces I only knew the joy of being with him. Curiosity is ever my down fall and I wanted to know why he did this to me. That question stayed in the back of my mind for years, never far from the surface.  Iv seen all there is to see but my yearning is ever for a home that is no longer there. Now I have come back for he is the only one who can fix me. I look at him and see how time has aged his outside and how it hasn’t mine. Everything I have been through has left its mark on my once perfect body except time. Shame courses through me but his eyes only hold fear and concern as my wounds openly bleed onto his carpet. The place looked the same and still different. I felt the urge to cry but I am incapable of drawing tears. All my strength is put into not screaming as his needle tears into me over and over. Then the thread breaks and I am perfect again on the outside. After he looks at me and finally after all this time I feel warm and right again. I forgave him for what he had done. On our insides nothing had changed. We hold each other close as I feel his thread break this time. . .

My Pieces. . .

You did it. You broke me. You with your words succeed where others have failed. And u don’t even understand what you’ve done. The pain of being unneeded, unwanted, and not worth the effort. Just stop and let me go. Stop toying with me and giving me false hope. Stop with the lies and the forced fake feelings you know I want but can never truly receive. You have pushed the ever unsteady balance of my heart until it crashed and broke before your laughing eyes. The pieces cut into my weak outer skin as it shatters on the unforgiving floor. I can never be the same for you have stolen the vital pieces I need to put my heart back together. Like a thief in the moonlight you came with false love in your voice and all my long forgotten dreams in your eyes. Just leave me back in the floor wear you found me. For you have shown me what I never new I really wanted and now I can no longer just settle for my lot in life. But I can not fight for better because I am unfit for battle. So leave me now with my broken heart and let me die with my pieces.